I am starting to feel that having a fetish is a way of dehumanizing a person because a boy (or girl) feels overwhelmed by the beauty of another person. If a boy were to sit with beauty and not jealously want to covet that beauty, most likely, the fetish would not develop in the first place. Fetishes reduce beauty into something tangible. They reduce personhood to the level of an object or a thing. It’s important to know how this works before one can really go beyond it.
The energy of fetishes can definitely be transferred to respect. It takes determination and a genuine wish and vow not to act on the dehumanizing energies of the fetish. Rather than reduce a woman to an object, I can learn to respect her by seeing her, and extending respect to all women.
How this is done? It’s quite simply to learn to relax with women without getting so emotionally attached to the appearance. Using better narratives can be helpful. Rather than looking at the image below and saying to myself “Oh, she’s so beautiful, and I MUST be with her because of her beautiful socks”, I can substitute a better narrative: She has a very pretty appearance and great socks too. I wish her the best. In other words, I learn to appreciate her rather than wanting to possess her beauty in some way. Learning to let the appearance be without a sense of attaching to it is an important skill to learn which helps me let go of the ego. I can also learn to respect the fact that if I am reducing her to an object, I need to repent and wish her happiness, which does not have anything to do with satisfying my ego and lusts.
boysocks318 