In order to stop making socks into a sexual fantasy, it’s necessary to do the following:
a) Stop thinking that socks are an invitation to intimacy
b) Learn to associate socks with rejection and blocking intimacy
Here is an exercise to try: Looking at the picture below, ask yourself, what is the woman inviting you to do? If you think she is inviting intimacy, think again. She is showing that socks are warm and comfortable, and she is already quite happy. She doesn’t need anyone to further her happiness in the moment, and what appears to be an invitation to closeness is actually just her enjoying relaxing in her socks. In this way, one can simply say, I am so glad you are comfortable in your socks. I am glad that you are happy and you don’t need anyone else for you to be happy. I am glad you are self-sufficient and can find the happiness of your own enlightened mind. Most importantly, we learn that actually this woman is a blessing because she is helping you to practice handling rejection and the sense that you are not significant to her, and that’s okay. You don’t need to be significant to her to live, and yet you can also learn to appreciate her happiness and want for her to be happy, which is more important than her appearance or her socks.
Loving kindness can be a good way to practice non ego and learning not to indulge in one’s sexual urges. It’s also training in how to be a true man and respect the power and intelligence of women, rather than thinking that their appearance is an invitation to indulge in harmful lusts.
Being rejected by a girl can be one of the most satisfying experiences, as long as it does not lead to bitterness. When a girl is rejecting a boy, she is pointing to his true place in the universe, which is as one among many, a piece among millions, and one part in a vast natural universe. It’s a chance for a boy to realize that he is only seeing what he wants to see in a woman, and he had better learn to start respecting and fearing her rather than seeing her as “easy” love. This can be a very joyful experience if one stops attaching so much significance to the self, the body, the ego and all its small desires.
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